Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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