Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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