Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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