so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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