OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
