Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
