Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do cheetos always look like penises
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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