the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
