i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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