he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
