My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize