i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize