I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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