I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't think brook has ever known best
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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