i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
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this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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