2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
