Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
