Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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