no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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