Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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