My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
