apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
