Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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