You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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