dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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