I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
