I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
