Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
