I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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