yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize