I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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