the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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