oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize