found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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