she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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