4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
