dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
