I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize