I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
