that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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