the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
