Sry I called you an 8
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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