It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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