it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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