What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
