Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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