Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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