it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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