Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
