and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
