ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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