Need sex. Gaining weight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
