i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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