whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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