i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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