Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
