i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
