Your tits are I can't wait for
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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