What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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