If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
