Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
